Obviously, as everyone knows. I love kpop. Yes, I do love kpop. I accidentally falling into this 'kpop' thingy since 2010. One day, I heard Super Junior's song - Sorry sorry and I enjoyed it. Yeah, since that day kpop stole my heart and they never give it back until now. So, I just 'halalkan' my heart to them lah kan. And now, I'm heartless. I realize, since I love kpop I am happier and love my life. I admit, before I know about this 'kpop' thingy, I was a weak girl. I was so emotional. I always think that no one cares about me. I feel insecure everytime. I think too much about my appearance. I think too much about what others would think about me. I think too much about my problems. I dont really appreciate my life. I've done a lot of stupid/useless things and I wasted my tears crying almost every night because of all those shit things/peoples who dont even deserve my tears. I cried too much just because of 'love'. But then, kpop kinda help me change my life.
Slowly, I know how to appreciate life. Now, I am a strong girl. I'm not a cry-baby anymore. I love myself. It seems like, I dont really care about what others may think about me. I dont think too much about others feeling and I dont really 'layan' my own feelings. I just live in my own WERLD and dont give a damn on others. <-- Heartless much? Blame the kpopers ! They stole my heart. Hahaha. Some of my 'kenalan' may think that I become more selfish than before because I dont really care about what happen with their life. I'm sorry. You guys just dont understand my feelings. And, truthfully, I dont really like the old me. The old me was pathetic. I spend my life-time with useless things. I kinda hate the old me. Well, now I love myself and my life. And, I dont care about who love/dont love me.
Alhamdulillah, this 'new me' is better. I become more cheerful. I smile alot. The most important thing is, I dont play with love anymore. Yes, I realize, I am too young to think about having a 'special relationship with someone'. I currently not interested with that. Thanks to Allah, for made me realize that. Now, I change to a better person. I'm not that kind of person who love to tinggalkan solat anymore. I'm proud to be Muslim, I'm proud to be me, I'm proud to be Malaysian and I'm proud to be one of kpop fans. Whenever, I felt alone I always remember that Allah is always there for me and now Allah help me to change myself. Others may think, this new me terlalu mengagungkan kpop. But NO. Aku bukan hidup dengan bertuhankan kpop. It's just, I love kpop. Loving kpop is not a sin right? So let me be. Oh, I love Allah, i love my family, friends, kpopers, life and almost EVERYTHING yang Allah dah anugerahkan kepada aku dalam hidup aku ni walaupun sekarang ni aku lebih dikenali sebagai 'Heartless'. Aku tak kisah. Aku ok. Aku kan kuat. Lastly, I want to ask for forgiveness to those yang terkecil hati on everthing I've done. This is just me. Nobody can stop me from loving kpop except Allah.